Sodina & Friends Advice Column
Ask the girls of Thousand Arms about life, love, and dating. Please send in your questions to The best letters will be answered on this website for all to read and enjoy.

WEEK 6 (11/19/99)
WEEK 5 (11/12/99)
WEEK 4 (11/05/99)
WEEK 3 (10/29/99)
WEEK 2 (10/22/99)
WEEK 1 (10/15/99)

WEEK 6 (11/19/99)

Dear Advice girls,

What's wrong with women? My girlfriend puts WAAAAAYYYY too much emphasis on silly little crap and always at the most inopportune time. You see, she always wants to 'be with me' whenever I am busy with something else. That said, 'being with her' can be as simple as just lying together. So...why can't she just sit and watch me play a game or something? It would be more productive than just lying together and if I must then, does she have to be so spontaneous about it? I really have responsibilities other than my girlfriend. I can't be there to 'be together' at her whim. All of my girlfriends have been like this. Have I been choosing the wrong people or do all girls have a goofy intense emotional thing going?


Irritated Boyfriend

Sodina Dear Irritated Boyfriend,

I can, without reservation, say that all girls have that 'goofy intense emotional thing.' It means that she likes you, and wants to share time with you. If you're too blind and inconsiderate to see the value in these things, then she needs to go find someone who isn't. You need to pull your head out of your ass, or start dating men...

Dear Girls,

My girlfriend is a nymphomaniac, and while most men don't see this as a bad thing, I'm beginning to feel the pain (physically and mentally) of dating one. However, our relationship seems to be centered around sex, and I've now reached a dilemma. Should I continue this relationship despite the tremendous sperm count reduction I will suffer in the long term, or should I end it before my manhood gives out?



Kyleen Dear Wuss,

If you're not man enough to handle it, then it's time to step aside.

Dear Advice Girls,

I have this feeling that the reason I can't get a girl is either because of a slight acne problem or the fact that I'm sorta tall (6'6"). First off, I'm wondering if most girls really don't mind a slight bit of acne. Secondly, are girls intimidated by tall guys like myself?


Tall Guy

Sodina Dear Guy,

Nahh, girls aren't intimidated by tall guys. And if a girl wanted a guy who didn't get zits, she'd be waiting a long damn time. Acne will clear up with age, thankfully. Remember, anyone can get away with one or two shortcomings, like acne or a club foot, they just have to make sure they concentrate on being charming or interesting to make up for it. Getting yourself into the NBA will certainly go a long way to making you more desirable.

Dear Sodina & Friends

As you may have guessed I could use some insight into forging a relationship with a woman. When I try to approach a woman I feel inferior since I have no true to my life and I feel I could not bring her anything but sorrow. So, I come off as cold, not wishing to bring any harm to her with my inferior ways. All I seek is a woman to spend my life with but I wish not to bring her harm. Am I doomed to loneliness till I can make something of myself?


Kitsune of the Lonely Heart

Sodina Dear Lonely,

While not wanting to harm someone else is a noble thing, if that's all you have to offer you are doomed to loneliness. No one is going to want to be with someone who doesn't even seem to want to be with themselves. I strongly urge you not to worry about being with someone else until you can be with yourself. Once you've done that, things somehow work themselves out...

Dear Advice Girls,

I can't get a girl. I dropped out of school, I don't have a job and I live in my parent's basement where I watch TV all day. The last thing I read was a Watchtower that had been sitting on the back of the toilet for the last three years. I'd like to get a job and earn some money, but I just never get around to it. My problem is that the girls I ask out turn me down. I know if they'd just go out with me, they would see what I have to offer. I would take them to Denny's to split a dinner and then sneak us both into the movies. Afterwords, we can lock ourselves in the basement and smoke some weed and get naked. As you can see, I have everything figured out, but I just can't get a girl to do it with. What is wrong with these girls?


Rico Suave'

Kyleen Dear Buttmunch,

What the hell is wrong with everyone? Do they not understand that if they have nothing going for them, that life is going to suck? You can't polish a turd! Why can't you people get this through your thick #*$#ing skulls...if you don't bathe you'll stink, if you don't work you'll be broke, if you don't have anything to offer then no one will want you.... THERE ARE NO HANDOUTS IN LIFE, SO STOP ASKING FOR THEM! I'm tired of this! I have more important things to do than splash these idiots with doses of reality. I'm outta here!

Sodina Kyleen, come back!
Kyleen Shut up, Sodina, you answer their stupid-ass questions...I'm going to Hawaii and be tan.
Sodina I'm not doing this alone, chick!
Kyleen Then don't!
Nelsha What do you mean, alone, Sodina? You have me.
Wyna Yo Chick, you still got me too!
Sodina KYLEEN!!!!

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